Dad taught me about parenting
Children are not the most important thing in the family. This seems strange in our child-centered, topsy-turvy world, but Mom and Dad were already a family before any of us came to disturb their tranquility. Dad’s example of putting my Mom first helped me to understand that a good parent loves his child too much to put them on the throne of the family.
It is good to be silly with your kids. My Dad loves to laugh and to have fun and be silly – we’ve spent many an hour laughing together. I think I will always remember the vacation to ‘Switzerland’ we took, when our car broke down an hour from our house. We hid out at home, popping popcorn, playing games and having rubber-band fights while everyone thought we were away. It was one of the best vacations we ever took.
Sometimes Mom asks Dad to dress up strangely to support her weird ideas. This is Dad serving as a ‘waiter’ at an exclusive ‘Ladies Tea’ event. You can see he was really enjoying the party.
Work won’t hurt your children. My Dad wasn’t afraid to load me down with work – oh, how I hated those words, “It’ll build character.†Who knew I would actually need that character in life!
He who spares the rod hates his son. This scriptural injunction (Proverbs 13:24a) was never one I really appreciated as a child, but I sure have seen the truth of it as a parent. I discipline my children because I love them too much to let them persist in evil, as my father loved me. Thanks, Dad, for correcting me when I needed it!
Play games with your kids. Dad made time in his schedule to play Rook or Rail Baron with us kids, and showed that we were important to him by giving us his time, even if he did always hog the Atchison-Topeka and Santa Fe railroad. Now I have the legacy that it seems ‘normal’ to me for a Dad to play with his kids, and I reap the blessings of that for another generation.
Require your children to take responsibility for things. My Dad encouraged me to take charge of my life in the areas of jobs, finances, my walk with God and my academic pursuits, just to name a few. Dad knew better than to coddle me or do everything for me and a lot of my independence and competence comes from being given those opportunities.
Get outdoors. When we lived at Fort Lewis and when we lived in Germany, Dad made sure we had plenty of opportunities to hike and travel and enjoy the world God has made for us. I haven’t done so well with my own kids, but what inclination I do have in this area, I owe to my Mom and Dad.
Travel is better than toys. We never had a lot of ‘stuff’ when we were growing up … my parents felt it was better to spend money on travel than on a bunch of consumer electronics. As I raise my own kids in a materialistic society, it helps me to be grounded in a philosophy that favors experiences over toys.
Do daily Bible study with your kids. Dad faithfully led our family devotions nearly every weekday for many years, in the face of considerable opposition. He lived out the words of Deuteronomy 6:6-9:
These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Require first-time obedience. We came across this idea in Gary Ezzo’s Growing Kids God’s Way parenting series, but it was something my parents lived and taught. I always knew that when Dad told me to do something (or stop doing something), I’d better obey right away. That has saved me (and my children) a lot of grief over the years.
Your dad sounds great…what a blessing. Thanks for sharing. I love the little nuggets of truth! ~Yvonne
The 70 things my dad taught me list is incredible! What a wonderful tribute he gave to his dad!
I’m SO WITH YOU on the experiences over toys. We would much rather travel than have “stuff.” We always talk about our vacations, but rarely do I hear the kids talk about their “stuff.”