Tuesday Tip for Parenting — Passport 2 Purity

new logo A couple of weekends ago I took my oldest son away, so that he and I could complete the Passport 2 Purity curriculum. Almost two years ago, Kathy purchased the CDs and workbooks, but they gathered dust on a shelf in our mud room, waiting on my convenience.

I wish I hadn’t waited so long. At 14, my son is mature and knowledgeable, but the Passport 2 Purity materials were designed for a younger, less mature audience. Even worse, in the past year Joshua has really begun to exercise a greater level of sovereignty in his life, and is becoming more and more reluctant to talk about certain subjects. I understand it is a natural (and possibly unavoidable) process, but it still makes me sad to see it happen, and it made for some awkward silences during the time that we had.

Thoughtful boy
Still, we did have some good discussions.

We had a great weekend. As recommended by authors Dennis and Barbara Rainey, we organized the time around a recreational event, which I wrote about in an earlier post, Travels with Faramir. We completed all five of the sessions, with time to spare for questions and general discussion.

Lower Lena Lake (L3)
… and Faramir didn’t even push me in the lake!

The choice of theme verse seemed a bit unrelated to the study. On reflection, though, it provides a common thread that permeates the discussion in a very satisfying way. Christ should be the head of every aspect of your life – relationships, purity, studies, and so on.

And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy.
Colossians 1:18

I’m not going to say a lot about the content of the Passport 2 Purity sessions, since there is some element of surprise to it, and I don’t want to ruin the event for any of my younger readers and their parents. Suffice it to say, that the material is an excellent way for a parent to begin to discuss the topics of sexuality, purity and dating relationships with a child on the brink of their transition to adulthood.

Backup CD Player
Naturally, we had technical difficulties, and had to scramble for a backup CD player.

One of the things I really liked about the weekend course is that it covers the basics without being too heavy-handed. The tone is light and informative, and Rainey repeatedly circles back around to emphasizing the importance of the child-parent relationship.

Perhaps the most surprising part of the material was the fourth session, in which the Raineys talk about purity. He quickly gets your attention: “I’m not going to tell you that the standard for Christians before marriage, is virginity.” Instead, he teaches that the Biblical notion of purity extends well beyond that ‘line in the sand’ which so many well-intentioned folks have drawn. Using the metaphor of a cliff-edge, Rainey walks both parent and child through an exercise of arranging various levels of physical contact in order, from ‘least dangerous’ to ‘most dangerous’. He talks about the tendency to progress through levels of physical intimacy, as a relationship extends in duration. “Where will you draw the line?” he challenges. “How much of your purity will you give away before your wedding day?”

These are sobering questions. Many parents of my generation are in the unenviable position of having to tell their children: “Don’t do what I did.”

my goodness

Were we ever that young?

Parents today cannot assume that their children will remain pure by default. Our culture bombards children with sexual innuendo and explicit images, through TV, movies, magazines and the internet. As one of my friends recently joked, a parent dare not assume that his children are innocents in this area:

Dad: Well, son, now that you’re a freshman in high school; it’s time that we had a talk about sex.
Son: Sure, Dad. What do you want to know?

Rainey works hard to bring the listener (both adult and child) to the understanding that a decision about purity must be made in advance, in order to hold to any kind of a moral standard. He warns that if you wait to decide what you will do when you are already in a relationship, you are practically guaranteeing that you will bow the knee to temptation.

I wish my parents had walked me through a curriculum of this nature, while I was still in their home. Although Kathy and I stood at the altar as virgins on our wedding day, there are lines of intimacy that we crossed, before we were married, which I regret.

Ultimately, an unmarried young man may find it helpful to think of himself as guarding his own purity and that of anyone he dates, in trust for their future spouses. I think this is a teaching that would have resonated with me, as a man who highly values honor and integrity. I think young Christian men are entirely capable of restraining their lusts, especially if they see themselves as honor-bound to guard and preserve the purity of the young lady they accompany. For some reason, this concept never took root in my mind, though it seems blindingly obvious, in hindsight.

Projects galore
The course included lots of interesting secret projects

Parents with eleven- or twelve-year-old children should rush out and purchase the Passport 2 Purity package, and start making plans to get away with your son our daughter for a weekend as soon as you are able. I strongly recommend this curriculum to your immediate attention. Kathy and Rachel are already scheming about their weekend away together.


Share or follow

Related posts:

Baby Chicks

One of the families brought baby chicks to co-op this week. What a treat!

baby chickssarah is tentativegoing for itjump for it!little fuzzy fellas

I remember years ago friends brought their horse to Vacation Bible School. Strange, no one seems to have a cow. Anybody own a cow? We had friends with goats and another with llamas. No cows. Is there a deep, meaningful lesson in the lack of pet cows? What would Gary Larson have to say about that?


Share or follow

Related posts:

Indian Winter

We didn’t have anything to say for a couple of days, and attracted some angry messages on our answering machine.

“Where is everybody? Where’s the blog that greets me in the morning? Don’t you people have any sense of responsibility?”

Well, maybe it wasn’t as harsh as all that. But Kathy’s Dad is one of our biggest fans.

Sadly, we still don’t have a lot to say. But we do have a few pictures. We’ve had some snow these last few days, which is a bit disconcerting. We were ready for Spring, not for another bout of Winter.

Snowball Thug
Not content to throw snowballs at me, this little punk also shouted insults.

Zip line memories
Of all my children who rode our zip line, David was the only one who ever fell off. Happily, he doesn’t remember it, and he probably won’t sue.

A boy at the Refuge
We continue to be excited about progress at the Refuge

Early flowers
My Mom directed me to a few of the only flowers that have yet bloomed.

Baby Daffodils
These baby daffodils were planted by our friends David and Kendra.

It was a good day. We visited with some old friends, enjoyed my folks, and came home in time to post a quick blog. Hopefully all will be forgiven.

Project 366, Day 89

Share or follow

Related posts:

Sometimes You’re Up

david takes off

there he goes!

And sometimes you’re down.

ouchget up, buddy!

I wish I could keep a smile on my face when life knocked me down.

I’ve been struggling to be faithful with my 5 for $5 Goals this week. Easter weekend was lovely and I rejoiced in the celebrations by eating too much and moving too little. Now I’m fighting to get back on track. Or even WANT to get back on track. I don’t feel like drinking my 8 glasses of water or recording my food or keeping my calories down. My workout schedule is all thrown off this week with our break from PE. Not only that but I made some delicious rolls on Sunday and practically need a restraining order to stay away from them.

To top it all off I found out this morning that I need a root canal. Yuck! Did I mention Tim and I are planning to wean ourselves off credit and get on a serious budget come April 1st? That’s in less than a week.

sarah crawls away

Thankfully I’m surrounded by great friends who encourage me to keep going. Tomorrow a friend is picking me up and dragging my sorry bones to the Y for a great workout. And I received this email from another friend this evening.

Just ONE DAY AT A TIME……okay? Don’t beat yourself up. DON’T DO IT. The enemy wants to you feel defeated, that you’ll never make it, and to just give up. WELL, know that you are a DAUGHTER OF THE KING AND ‘…God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.’ You have the Spirit of God living in you…..don’t let your thoughts go anywhere but there…..

Whew! I needed that reminder. I might be crawling around on the ground with my knee pads and helmet on but at least I’ve got support ready to help me up.

Project 366 – Day 84

Share or follow

Related posts:

Easter Pictures

How about a few more Easter pictures. Grandma made the adorable Easter lamb, I can’t take any credit for it.

dying eggs

It wouldn’t be Easter without dying eggs. LOVE the bright colors!

beautiful girl

Nothing like some pearls to liven up a dull paint smock. :)

grandma helped dye eggs

While I worked on last minute meal preparations (and our lamb roast took FOREVER to cook), Grandma helped the children work on Easter eggs. It’s important to have professional help during the holidays.


Share or follow

Related posts: