Today I went straight from work to a meeting at church, and didn’t arrive home until 10 pm or so. It was a long day. After nabbing a fresh, hot Mesa Manna roll with butter, I went looking for my family members.
No one was on the ground floor. Apparently the Rapture occurred, but the rolls were still warm from the oven, so it must’ve been recently. This was a relief, since I had been meeting, just fifteen minutes prior, with our senior pastor and a bunch of the church leaders — it would be kind of embarrassing if Jesus called all the believers home, and none of the elders were taken. It would have been particularly embarrassing for our Pastor, who has been preaching on Revelation lately. I can just see him in the pulpit, next week:
“Well, I notice that our congregation is a bit smaller this week. I have some good news, and some bad news. First the good news: the prophecies about the Rapture were all true. Now the bad news … ”
Of course, since I was apparently also un-raptured, I was now facing seven years of tribulation — but at least I had a warm, buttered roll. But (as you may already have guessed) it was a false alarm — my family members were all uncharacteristically in bed or otherwise occupied upstairs. Thanks to Kathy’s recent phase of pretending she is a morning person, our household is much quieter in the late evenings.
“Did you blog?” I asked my wife, accusingly, when I tracked her to her lair.
“No,” she admitted, shamefaced. “By the time I remembered, I was already in bed. It was either blog or read my Bible … ”
Kathy often tries to hold the moral high ground in these little interchanges. I charitably refrained from asking her why she didn’t read her Bible in the morning, now that she is “such a morning person”. (I am often charitable that way, leaving unsaid those snippy little comments that lesser men would blurt out, or, even worse, mention in a blog.)
“So, did you at least upload any photos of our fascinating and meaningful life?” I wasn’t very hopeful, by this point. Kathy snuggled more deeply into bed, and shook her head.
No photos, therefore no fascinating and meaningful life. As we often say, “If it didn’t make it to the blog, it didn’t happen.”
Today did have a few interesting events, though. I had my annual review at work, in which it was discovered that I was ‘High Achieving’. This is, apparently, not quite as good as ‘Low Exceeding’, but considerably better than plain ‘ole ‘Achieving’. They used to have a numerical range, from 1 (“here’s a cardboard box, pack your stuff”) to 5 (“you walk on water and found a way to double the company’s annual profit”). Apparently the numerical rating scheme was too hard, and some of the managers were having trouble with the math, so they went to a three-tiered scale: “Not Achieving, Achieving, and Exceeding”.
Personally, I liked the old scale better. When you got a 4.2, you knew right where you stood. I guess after six years working for the same company, in the same team, I probably know where I stand. I was disappointed, though — I really would have liked to get some form of ‘Exceeding’ in my annual rating. Maybe next year.