I started this blog with the intention of writing about how the kids sometimes spend their time during our school reading. I loaded the pictures and started writing. I even came up with a few titles.

Couch Time Arts and Crafts
Read Aloud Entertainment
Random Craft Books We Like

Hmmm. Yeah, had a hard time coming up a very catchy title.

I tried to do a search on the blog for other posts I’ve written on this subject, and then I got lost in all the cuteness of the kids from blogging days gone by. Is it weird that I find my own writing entertaining? Oh dear. Is that a little narcissistic? But really, this blog about Rachel getting glasses. I mean, how could I resist spending time reading about a day from Feb 2007. Especially when Sarah and I went to the eye doctor yesterday.

Strange how life circles around.

And then I started wondering about the passage of time and the hopes, dreams, and changes in life. Does the Lord protect us from seeing too far into the future because He knows we need to live in TODAY and not focus on the joys, sadnesses, losses, heart breaks, and victories coming in the TOMORROWS ahead of us. But that seems odd because, wouldn’t we treasure the moments today if we knew they were fleeting? Or maybe we would dread the pain that was coming too much to walk forward. It would paralyze us. And we would cling too much to the joyful moments that we couldn’t enjoy them, knowing they were going to end.

I don’t know. This is what happens when I blog late at night after reading old posts of “days gone by”. I start to wax on a bit maudlin in tone. Oh dear, now I’ve used the word maudlin in the day’s blog.

When I search the scriptures and think about the hope that the Lord offers and the peace that He promises, I think it is okay to savor the joys and mourn the losses. I can’t turn back time and relive the years when my father was alive or the busy days of homeschooling all five kids. I can’t live them any more fully than I did.

Regrets do nothing but amplify pain and sadness.

I can, however, be PRESENT in today.

I can listen when David tells me his dreams from last night’s sleep.
I can pay attention when Sarah shares thoughts about friendship and cliques and “being cool.”
I can look at Frisbee clips on the computer and laugh at random videos with Daniel.

I can capture the day’s moments on film and journal on the blog.
I can hug more, fuss less.
I can praise more and criticize less.
I can be thankful EVERY DAY for the abundant blessings in my life.
I can teach and study and share my love of learning.
I can love and forgive and encourage the kids to do the same.
I can be transparent when I’m moved by God’s grace and power (even if that means tears).
I can mourn losses and give us all freedom to grieve when we need to.

“Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Rev 21:3-4

I can live with joy today because I know that I have a future ahead of me that is greater than anything I can imagine. I can walk in peace today because I have a God who promises never to leave or forsake me. I can laugh and cry over memories of yesterday without letting it consume my tomorrow.

And so the post I started writing (arts and crafts and read-alouds) took a bit of a rambling turn and ended in a sweet message from the Lord to me. How fitting that the song that He gave me to end my time was Matt Maher’s Lord, I Need You.

Every hour I need you. Amen.

Project 365 – Day 77
Kathy

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