Tim says I have to get to bed by 11 pm tonight.

We read a lot of marriage books during our courtship and first years of marriage. During the submission chapters, I dutifully took notes, vowing to cheerfully submit to my husband. I have a wonderful mother and mother-in-law who model beautiful Christian marriages of mutual love and respect. My grandmother was a staunch advocate of marriage and believed submission was easy when your spouse was laying down his life for you as Christ did for the church.

No one ever warned me submission would involve bedtimes.

That’s going from preaching to meddling to this night owl.

Okay, perhaps Tim didn’t really say I have to go to bed by 11 pm. In fact, all he really did was make a suggestion. And, to be completely truthful (because I’m all about being honest on the blog here), it’s only because I was an emotional wreck today and am very over-tired and he’s looking out for my best interest.

Hmmm. That sounds an awful lot like loving as Christ loved the church.

Unfortunately that means I don’t have a parenting tip for the day. I could have spent some time this evening writing, but I decided to read to the children instead. If I ignore my children but compose a brilliant parenting tip, what have I accomplished?

Presents for the “Giving Tree,” a project blessing needy children in the community.

So, instead of cozying up to my wireless keyboard and sharing words of wisdom, I was snuggled on Big Blue with three children, reading Christmas books, opening birthday presents and reviewing piano lesson work.

Consider that your tip for the day - relish the sweet moments with your children. Hug them, read Christmas books, play a game, bake cookies. Smile. Close your mouth and wait just a few extra seconds before speaking words of correction and discipline.

Kathy
It’s three minutes to 11 pm - I still have to publish this post, throw together a lunch for Tim, turn off all the lights in the house, run a quick load of laundry, put the last of the dishes away and start the dishwasher. Maybe I’ll make 11:30 pm. That’s pretty close.

Yep, that’s me, always one to heed good advice.
Sigh.
Project 365 - Day 344

Tim and I are thrilled to share the Tuesday Spotlight with Tina Burt. It is particularly appropriate that Tina be featured as a guest blogger, since she is a dear friend we first met while living in the Duckabush Valley, for which this blog is named. Now serving with New Tribes Missions in Thailand, Tina and her family are dearly beloved kindred spirits. Wherever they go, Greg and Tina live out the example that Paul laid down for the Thessalonians:

We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. (I Thessalonians 2:8)

Kathy and Tina on the eve of Tina’s departure for Thailand.

Hello Duckabush Blog Faithfuls,

As a guest blogger today, I will try to uphold the high standards set by my dear friends. Kathy asked me a while ago to think about submitting a post on her Tuesday Tips for Parenting blog. While obviously very honored by such a request, I was not sure what parenting gems I had to offer. We have our fair share of teasing, annoying, disobedience and unruly behavior at our house.

I mean beyond what my dear husband incites of course!

After some deep thinking, (it doesn’t take too long to get to the bottom of my well!), I thought we could share one of our discipline techniques. We like to call it the Jack LaLane method of child training.

It began when with our son, the youngest of our three children. He seemed to find the most trouble of our kids, not always out of rebellion, but from a lack of thought or wisdom. Other forms of, cough, cough, physical discipline did not seem to make much of an “impact” on him, and so we drew on DH’s army training and instituted …

The Pushup!

Doesn’t he have nice form, and a smile to boot!

We now use it liberally with all three kids, and they may find themselves dropped for pushups whenever the situation, or attitude demands. Rolled eyes at a request, rude speech, sassing a parent, slow or delayed obedience,…… The number of pushups has a direct correlation to how often the child has been previously corrected for said offense, or how severe the offense.

When beginning, we suggest only 5-10, depending on the strength of your children. Don’t want any excuses to get out of dishwashing!

We liberally used this technique while trying to break our son of his finger sucking habit some years back. Each time we would catch him with his finger in his mouth, he would ‘earn’ 10 pushups. After a particularly long car trip, the poor child sometimes owed us up to 80 pushups! (Yes, we let him take a break in between sets of 20 or so.)

Hey, it came in handy when he began wrestling, and needed all the upper body strength he could get!

There is a boy (in the #2 place - Great Job, Zach!) who has benefited from some loving discipline.

An extra tip, when an attitude is particularly bad, or you feel you need a little more oomph in your sentence, diamond pushups are great! Instead of having hands under the shoulders, they must have their hands together under their chest, making a little diamond with their first fingers and thumbs. We have found that even the suggestion of diamond pushups will improve cooperation greatly!

Zachary, Leah, and Ema.

What cooperative children, no pushups necessary here.

Tina

I can’t believe December is literally racing around the corner. This weekend a friend suggested I write something about Christmas gift ideas for kids. You know, the gifts that will actually hold the children’s interest and survive more than a week or two of playing. Classic toys that have proven to be fun and timeless.

I thought this was a fantastic idea, especially the part about how it should all be organized by age with suggestions for each grade level. Great, wonderful, excellent idea, except for one thing. I don’t have time to write this amazing blog. This particular friend is not only a serious bargain shopper, but a woman of discerning, good taste, so I asked (begged, pleaded) if she would email me the list of gifts that have been favorites in her family. “I’ve started writing down a collection of ideas, including catalog clippings, several times,” she said, “but I just don’t have TIME to finish.”

Obviously what we moms need is more TIME. I hear time makes a great stocking stuffer, gift certificate and looks great wrapped under the tree. Right.

Okay, in lieu of actually doing the work of creating a gift idea blog myself, I figured I would share what I’ve found online. I’m not ruling out the idea of generating my own Christmas treasure blog, but for now, let’s steal from others.

Of course, games are ALWAYS a hit in our family.

Not Made In China - you’ll love this, a blog dedicated to toys and other products that are NOT made in China. As toy recalls continue to mount up, it’s nice to know there are other options available.

Holiday Gift Guide - this blogging mother of seven shares some great ideas for Christmas.

Christmas Shopping Carnival - this blog post has links to 70 other blogs (each one opens in a separate window) where people share what they are buying this year. If you have time (there’s that word again), you might enjoy browsing through some of the blogs and see if anything inspires you.

Christmas Books - a homeschooling friend has a collection of favorite Christmas books (complete with cover shots) on her blog. I saw some old family treasures as well as some new ones I’m eager to read.

Christmas Countdown - this website helps you get organized and enjoy a stress-free Christmas.

Advent Bible Study for Children - this is a wonderful, inductive Advent Bible study. I have done it several years with the older three children. There are coloring pages, scripture passages to study, and questions to answer.

Unusual and Unique Gift Items - cause you never know when you might want to buy someone a duct tape wallet.

There you go, I’ve exhausted my knowledge on the subject of Christmas blogs. Now it’s up to you to share your creative ideas, favorite catalogs or blog links. This is a safe place to reveal gift purchases and secret plans, as I highly doubt your spouse or children will pop through and read the comments.

What is your favorite children’s gift idea for this year? What about for your husband or wife? Grandparents? I have an EMPTY gift closet so I can use all the suggestions I can get.

Kathy

A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones. (Proverbs 15:30)

I was getting in to the van one day a few months ago and I happened to catch a glimpse of my reflection in the car window. I was frowning. There was a little pinched frown in between my eyebrows.

Why was I frowning? The children were busy buckling themselves in their seats, we were off to an event of some sort, we weren’t terribly late, it wasn’t a Bad Hair Day, I had my faithful pink travel mug full of coffee; there was NO REASON for me to be frowning.

I began to sneak little peeks at myself, in mirrors and windows, throughout the week. I discovered that more often than not, my face arranged itself in a little frown. I was shocked. Is this the expression that greets my children and my husband on a daily basis? Is there some underlying trouble or concern in my life that would cause me to have a constant frown on my face? Am I doomed to be branded a sour puss (wrinkles and all)?

I decided right then and there that I was going to make a commitment to smiling. It’s the dumbest sounding thing, and I’m almost embarrassed to blog it, but it’s the truth. I made a decision to smile.

You have to smile when you get hugs like this!

Whether I’m feeling cheerful or grumpy, I smile.
When I’m walking around doing errands, I smile.
I smile BEFORE someone smiles at me - I’m a proactive smiler.
I purposely compose my face into a smile throughout the day.

Of course, I forget. Of course I fuss at my children and frown and pout. Of course, I feel sad, angry or frustrated and don’t WANT to smile.

Life is stressful. Parenting is hard work that requires discipline and energy. Being a mother, especially a stay at home mom, often means performing menial chores over and over again, most of the time without thanks and certainly without pay. Squabbling, tattling children can exhaust even the most virtuous of Proverbs 31 women.

Smiling helps to tug my heart back to the right place of joy and thankfulness. Amazingly, my inward spirit almost always follows my outward expressions. Smiling at the children somehow helps to increase my patience with their antics and lower my frustration at their behavior. Smiling first and then speaking, results in a lowered tone of voice and a calmer disposition.

Smiling brings a balm of peace and sweetness that is powerful in the make-up of our family.

A big hug after a YMCA workout.

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. (Proverbs 17:22)

Kathy
Project 365 - Day 323
My internet connection went down last night while I was blogging. Sorry this is late.

Last week I was too tired to post a parenting tip. Such laziness! I repent of my sleepy ways. Never again will I choose sleep over blogging.

I have asked two friends to come in as Guest Bloggers for our Tuesday Tips for Parenting. I can’t wait! They are both amazing moms and I know you will love them and learn from their wisdom and experience. Thankfully this is a very slow time of year for families and moms in particular, so they have plenty of time to come by and share some thoughts with us. Ha! In other words, I’m not sure when we will welcome them to the blog, but I hope it will be soon.

In the mean time, let’s talk about COOKING with Children.

Cooking with your children is a fantastic way to train them in practical life skills, create memories, enjoy parent/child time, and participate in something that benefits the entire family.

This creation was definitely worthy of a photo.

Not only that, but you get to sit back and relax and let someone else take care of dinner and dessert. Of course, depending on the age of your children this can be more or less helpful.

I would be sure to write up a serious, rock solid contract on the kitchen clean-up duty before you enlist your children in cooking.

Sometimes the younger children appear to make a mess and eat more than they actually help. Do not panic, that is just one step along the way to training great chefs.

Sarah and Daniel made mini pizzas, with canned biscuits serving as the crust, as part of our dinner this evening. One way to ensure a child’s interest in a project is to offer it to a sibling. Nothing gets them rushing to help like thinking their brother or sister is having more fun than they are. Using Sibling Rivalry to Build Character would obviously be another great parenting tip. Maybe next time.

Daniel had the sauce step figured out. He tried to work with Sarah but she was just a little too heavy handed on the sauce for his liking. She obviously takes after her father. We call him The Sauce Man (but not to his face).

This picture should be entitled: “Pretend You Like Each Other and Weren’t Just Fighting Over the Sauce” or maybe “Staging Sibling Love for the Cooking Blog.” Not catchy but pretty accurate.

You can see that we really did have sauce issues going on this evening. Another great reason to add cooking to your parenting toolbox. You can work out conflict, teach lessons about patience and acceptance, and do math all while making dinner. If you’re very, very lucky the children will have learned something, had fun in the process, and the meal will be edible.

So tell me, do you make it a regular practice to work in the kitchen with your children? Are you purposeful about it or is it something that just happens naturally throughout the week? What types of things are you making - baked goods, desserts, side dishes, or entire meals? Are your older children capable of planning and preparing a complete entree themselves (with more than one dish)? Do you have specific goals for your children in this area? Have you taught them some of the more complicated tasks - canning, making bread, baking pies, working with (gasp) raw meat? My older two have trouble dealing with uncooked beef or protein.

I’d love to hear what you are doing with your children regarding cooking. Please feel free to leave a comment. Thanks!

Kathy
Project 365 - Day 346