I have a terrible memory. Oh, I can remember inane and unimportant things like the names of movie stars and their hit films or short stories I read in high school, but real memories, you know, events that actually happened to me, elude me.

I hold only little pieces of my childhood in my memory. Even then, many of the recollections come from pictures stored in photo albums and slide shows. I don’t know that I remember the actual occurrence or just the picture of the activity.

Tim tells the children elaborate tales of his youth; times he went camping with his family, places he explored as a child and teenager, insightful lessons he learned along the way. The children, eager for more glimpses into the ancient past, look over at me, ready to hear my childhood anecdotes.

I look back at them blankly.

I never knew I had a poor memory. It was something I discovered as an adult, about the time my kids asked me to tell them a story from my past.

I had a wonderful childhood and a rich, full life. I just can’t remember it.

Today is my youngest son’s birthday. David is seven years old. By now I’m an experienced mom, I know what happens: these precious little ones grow up! They change, mature, and blossom into young adults.

My sister-in-law, Elizabeth, blessed our family with this Birthday Hat.

I guess our days are too full of living to hold all of the precious moments of our days in my finite brain. I keep trying to get an upgrade on memory storage and brain power but the shipping costs are out of this world.

I don’t want to forget the sweetness of today. I don’t want to forget what my children are like at this point in their lives. Joshua is fourteen. I barely remember what he was like as a brand new 7 year old.

Butterscotch pancakes for the birthday breakfast. Yum!

And you all tease me for taking so many pictures. I need them to bolster my pathetic memory. I wonder if we will have perfect retention in heaven. Will we be able to look back and clearly remember all that we did during our life time? Can I request the Good Parts Only version? Maybe the glories of heaven will so outshine anything that occurred during our brief time here on this earth, that we won’t need to waste time on old memories.

You are my beloved youngest son. You have an incredibly bright smile and sweet spirit. I treasure your ready hugs and cheerful personality. Several times a day you enthusiastically run over to me for a hug me or kiss on the cheek. You let me hold and snuggle you. You do a wonderful job of making me feel loved and appreciated. You love presents and are thankful for everything from little treats to a homemade meal.

On Friday you were upset because you didn’t have your “speedy” tennis shoes. You were gloomy and worried about running and playing in shoes that were too loose. You LOVE to zoom about at top speed. You have a wonderful daddy who drove out of his way to bring you your special shoes.

You are quickly becoming an excellent reader. Some days you fuss about all the school you have to do, and other times you rush through your work, laughing at how simple it is. You play easily with all of your siblings. You and Sarah are buddies and she adores you. You and Daniel can often be found playing computer games together or sitting on the floor with Legos, marbles or Playmobil. You and Joshua are great friends. Neither age or size difference seems to matter in your relationship and you were very dismayed that he was going to be out of town on your birthday. You and Rachel enjoy all manner of creative games. At the pool this week you played a game involving a slave and his master.

I try not to ask too many questions.

Rachel lit the candles for our second round of Happy Birthday To You!.

I’m afraid my memory is poor. You are going to grow up and ask me what type of a little boy you were. You’ll want to know what books you read, where you sat in the car, what types of games you played, and how much you were loved.

Forgive me for forgetting so many of the little details. With all my heart, I want you to know that you were a cherished six year old and will most certainly be a treasured seven year old. I’ll do my best to photograph, journal and blog your life so our memories of these sweet times will be carefully preserved and venerated.

Mommy
Project 365 - Day 47

Rachel has been taking piano lessons for several years. Recently David began to beg and plead for lessons himself.

“Maybe Rachel could teach you,” I suggested, trying to test his sincerity and keep the price down. Rachel, of course, looked at me rather incredulously, shaking her head firmly. Becoming a piano teacher is obviously not high on her list of career choices.

“Well, we’ll see. You’ll have to talk to Miss Nancy.” Miss Nancy is our beloved piano teacher and dear friend of Tim’s parents. She’s also An Adult and therefore Scary. I was sure that would put David off a bit.

Nope. He was determined.

It’s official, we now have two piano students in our home.

Or maybe it’s three.

“Don’t worry, Mom, I can SO play this song. David’s teaching me.”

Kathy
Project 366 - Day 23

This little guy makes us laugh nearly every single day. He has thoroughly captured my Mommy Heart.

Today David was worried about AWANA, our church’s evening children’s ministry that begins this week. Last year his big brother, Daniel, was in the program with him, easily accessible in the next room. More than once, Daniel was a comfort to David in the busyness of the night and the large crowd of children.

Now, of course, Daniel has graduated and moved up to the 5th and 6th grade group. I tried to reassure David that he wouldn’t be alone, Sarah has moved out of Cubbies and into Sparks with him (anyone familiar with AWANA will know what in the world I’m talking about). He was not particularly comforted. We had a long conversation about how the night would go, he wanted the entire schedule thoroughly detailed.

“Sarah will need me to look after her,” David told me. “You know,” he gestured toward his little sister, “she expects me to take care of her.”

Long pause, fretful look.

“Who is going to take care of me?”

Bless his little 6 1/2 year old heart! I was ready to send Daniel along as a permanent body guard, ready to battle any and all foes (imagined or real). Nothing like a big brother to make you feel safe. Our discussion continued.

“I remember one time when I was all alone,” David said, looking pensive, “I just kept telling myself Jesus is with you. Jesus is always with you. I guess I’ll be okay.”

Little Buddy, I think you are going to be more than ‘okay.’ You’re going to be AWESOME!!

Then Jesus came to them and said …. “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:18a, 20b)

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

Kathy
Project 365 - Day 275

And introducing our new Tuesday Tips logo, created just for us by Lisa’s talented daughter, Allison. Thank you, Allison!!

As a father of five children, I’ve had ample opportunity to encourage my kids in the exercise of self-control. I can’t be everywhere, and my wife (who homeschools all five) is often tired of being ‘in charge’ when I get home from work.

Over the years we discovered that many problems facing parents are the result of letting things get out of hand rather than addressing them early. As we have shared before in other Tuesday Tips we are strong believers in the idea that training (particularly in moments of NON-conflict) is key to effective parenting.

“Come closer so I can lick you, Daddy.”

When our kids were little, they all learned that we ‘meant business’ about playing with electrical sockets. We had a carbon monoxide detector in the kitchen that beckoned strongly to little eyes and minds with its intriguing red and green diodes. We found that if a mobile baby or young toddler was within about 4 feet of it, the lure became almost irresistible. One day I spent a frustrating five or ten minutes swatting the hand of my son David, who persisted in touching the detector. Although we were tempted to simply move it, we had decided not to ‘baby proof’ our home, but rather to work on life-proofing our babies themselves.

Then we hit on the happy solution: “Walk away.”

Or, in some cases, “Drive Away.”

When our child would head toward the carbon monoxide detector, I would say, “No.” If they approached it closely, I would sharpen my voice, move closer, and repeat: “No, No.” If they reached for it, I would let them touch it, then swat the hand, and then turn them physically 180 degrees away from it, placing them down on the floor at least 5 or 6 feet from the wall. “Walk away,” I would say. We repeated this sequence at least half a dozen times before he came to appreciate the personal benefit of walking away.

David tries to ’splain things to Sarah

We realized that if a child could get some distance from the temptation, they could then exercise the self-control necessary to avoid it. This phrase seemed to carry more power than “don’t touch” or a simple “no” because the toddler physically left the presence of the enticing object.

Over time, this strength grew, so that several of my children learned to give electrical sockets (and a variety of other dangerous things) a wide berth. We found that this lesson translates well to avoiding other pitfalls, and the words ‘Walk Away’ have often been an effective protection for our children from sin and harm.

Sarah and David have really benefited from the godly example set by their older siblings.

In Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, he communicates this awesome promise of God:

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. — I Corinthians 10:13

It is sometimes hard to predict what will tempt little minds.

As I have grown in my love for Jesus, I have found this promise to be unfailingly true — there has never been a time when I called out for help that God has not provided a way for me to resist or escape a temptation. One of the best protections we have against sin is avoiding situations that present strong temptations, just as staying on the safe side of a guard rail can prevent you from falling down a cliff. This skill of avoiding trouble by walking away is true for adults, why not children also?

I have been especially impressed with David’s wisdom and self-discipline in setting boundaries to protect himself from temptation.

I first wrote this article as a response on Helium, but I decided to tweak it a little and republish it here.

Tim

After a full day playing in the water, David and Sarah were hungry for dinner. Mind you, my children seem to be hungry ALL the TIME. It doesn’t matter if we just finished a delicious meal, they are already thinking (and talking) about the upcoming snack. Really I don’t know why their mother doesn’t feed them.

These goggles accompany David on his journeys through the water - lake, pool, bathtub - they are faithful accessories.

Sarah keeps her head above water despite her brother’s attempts to splash her right out of the lake.

This afternoon we went straight from our lake outing to the church where we dropped off Rachel and Daniel. A little bit later Joshua went to middle school and only David and Sarah were left at home. Since it was still incredibly hot outside (at least for Washington state), the kids decided to get back in the water.

The lack of dirt and grass in the water is a clear indication that this picture is from yesterday, shortly after we bought the pool.

I thought this little plastic pool would be a big let down after hours in the lake. Nope, they had a fantastic time playing with the hose, jumping in and out of the pool, and throwing bowls of water on each other.

It was much too hot to make dinner. I started the grill but then realized I didn’t have any hamburger patties. Tim said we could just scrounge for food, obviously not remembering that there is a serious lack of leftovers these days with such hearty eaters. Finally I managed to fix David and Sarah plates of warmed up angel hair pasta, adding a hard-boiled egg for some protein.

Sarah was so excited to see this delicious dinner she clapped her hands in glee. “Oh, noodles and hard-boiled eggs, my best food.”

Yep, that’s her bestest food. Pasta and eggs.

I guess it’s true that hunger is the best sauce. Anyone else want to join us for dinner? It’s sure to be a culinary delight. Maybe it will turn out to be one of your best foods. You never know.

Kathy
Project 365 - Days 191 & 192