P365 – Day 113 (A Guy and His Wheels)

I’m fairly certain this is the conversation that went on at Julee’s house this afternoon.

Chandler: “Hey, Yo, Mom! I’ve got a great idea. Let’s ride on over to Mrs. E’s house and pick up some of her kids (she’s got enough there to spare a few). I’ll cruise along in my stud-mobile and you can walk along side, looking pretty.”

Julee/Mama: “You got it, Little Buddy, let me make the call and we’ll be on our way. I have to tell you, Chandler my good man, that shirt is totally working for you. Love it!”

Chandler's wheels

Chandler (holding out hand): “Thanks, Darling! Can I get a drink to take along with me? Something frothy and cold. I know you can make it happen.

See, I told you! Lots of kids and this isn’t even all of them. Let’s take these two little ones home with us. Mrs. E. won’t even notice they’re gone.”

chandler and the kiddos

Chandler (a slight grimace of worry on his face): “You know, Mom, I like that girl. I mean she’s pretty cute (almost as good looking as you, Doll) and she did take good care of me last time I came for a visit, but really, she needs to take her hands off my cruising machine.”

“Sarah, respect the perimeter around the convertible, will ya! Thanks, you’re a love!”

And with that, Sarah and David were off for a “ride” with Chandler. I know, for a fact, that they were appropriately impressed by his cool wheels.

Kathy

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P365 – Day 112 (Little Girls and Butterflies)

Sarah and her friend Miriam in their Sunday School class this morning.

miriam and sarah

David’s caterpillars decided to emerge this weekend. What excitement! We put a little dish of sugar water in the netting this morning on our way to church. When we got home we decided to release the butterfly into the great outdoors. David kept telling us we had to find flowers. I tried not to wonder at his eyes since there were flowering bushes all over. Tim handled the great butterfly migration.

butterfly outsidehanging the netfly away home

The butterfly fell, fluttered its wings and then gently flew off. I couldn’t help but think of us and how much we resemble a butterfly in our Christian walk. We start off as slow, plodding creatures, barely able to see the world around us. We find ourselves wrapped in this strange cocoon as Christ transforms us. It feels confining and different and even painful at times. Then, oh, then, we emerge as new beings. Able to fly and soar and see everything in a new and glorious light. Now we are beautiful.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:17

Kathy

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Daniel’s Troubled Afternoon

Daniel had a difficult time Saturday afternoon. Poor guy! On the heels of his fun birthday sleepover no less. He was unkind to David several times and just generally seemed to be firing off angrily at everyone around him. Well, with every difficult struggle brings a great opportunity to really learn some good lessons.

buddies

I’m sure that’s Biblical. There are probably lots of Proverbs dealing with this whole subject. I’m too tired to list them right now. Maybe I’ll have time tomorrow to go back and include them. For now I can sum up: Listen to rebuke, follow the Lord’s commands = wise person. Reject correction, turn away = foolish person (‘stupid’ in some translations).

Thankfully all of this occurred on a Saturday and Tim was home to help parent/train/discipline. I don’t know if he mapped out the course of action for Daniel ahead of time or just made it up on the fly, but Tim certainly set about to do some teaching.

First he had Daniel go off and watch a portion of the Matthew/Visual Bible DVD. The Visual Bible is a word-for-word movie production of the book of Matthew. The only spoken lines in the movie are those of the scriptures. It’s truly a stunning and powerful movie. One of our favorite scenes (can you have a favorite “scene” from the Bible??) is when Jesus teaches about forgiveness in chapter 18. He tells the parable of the unmerciful servant to Peter, acting out the story before him and having Peter play several parts. There is humor as Jesus whispers and points, pretending to be the other servants telling the master what happened. At the end of the parable things grow serious. Peter is thrust into the roll of unforgiving and cold servant and Jesus stands up tall and stern as the master.

“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”

The look on Peter’s face when he hears Jesus say those words is so compelling – part guilt and shame at seeing himself in the roll of the unforgiving person, part confusion and sadness at being sent away from the Lord; all of it wrapped in a slowly growing understanding of the magnitude of sin and God’s forgiveness.

After this visual Bible lesson, Tim sent Daniel outside to rake the grass. Our lawn mower has been cowering in the shed for several weeks. It died after making one pass through our LONG grass so Tim sent out a desperate plea for help. Thankfully (complete answer to prayer) Tim’s folks had a mower Mark and Elizabeth (Tim’s brother and sil) passed on when they moved to Norway. G’pa brought the mower over on Wednesday and Joshua began the Great Mowing Expedition of ’07. Although the mower has a bag, it still dumped huge clumps of grass all up and down the lawn.

All of this to say, the raking job was NOT tiny but neither was it overwhelming. Nothing like a little physical exercise and a good, solid chore to give you time to think things over and keep you grateful for your good life.

Next Tim asked me to let him deal with Daniel. Wow! What does that mean? I don’t want to be on the edge of things, I want to be right there in the heart of the storm. I looked in Tim’s face. He had such a solemn look of resolve and seriousness, I realized he wasn’t being playful or stubborn or angry. He was in full Father Role and wanted me to set aside my emotional, protective, ‘give in too easily’ tendancies. I’m afraid I sometimes hamper Tim’s leadership and fathering. I so easily rise to defend the (perceived) under dog (whoever they may be) that Tim has to almost fight me in order to discipline the children. I decided, this time, to do my best to support him and find a spot to observe from the sidelines.

flannel boys

Flannel buddies–Tim and Daniel 1999

Daniel worked outside for a solid hour and finally finished the raking. Next he and Tim went upstairs for a good, long talk. Again I stayed out of things. Okay, I did sneak up at one point (it just seemed like they were gone for a LONG time) and see if they needed anything. I never said I was good at supporting from a distance. Tim looked serious and Daniel teary eyed.

They finished their conversation and Tim gave Daniel some final advice on being kind to David and making up to him. Daniel went off by himself for a little bit and, literally minutes later, fussed angrily at David. Minutes!!!! Okay, this is not what the discussion and conversation and “heart talk” and discipline was supposed to produce. It was very disheartening!

river time

Daniel and David in 2003. “Don’t push him in, Daniel!”

Tim sent Daniel BACK outside to rake the front yard, Between the two yards there was certainly plenty of grass to rake. The front yard is small and it didn’t take Daniel long to complete his work. He and Tim went off to the gas station to buy some gas for the lawn mower (the yard is only half mowed in the back – goody, more raking chores ahead for disobedient children). Another good talk, I would presume, I don’t know exactly what they discussed. Remember, I’m staying out of this father/son time.

Daniel came home (no more tears) and went right out in the garage to get a game. Off he went upstairs, looking for David and asking him if he would like to play. The rest of the evening was wonderful. Daniel was cheerful. He was full of praise and cheerful compliments for David and his game playing skills. We had a delicious dinner (more praise, this time for the chef). After supper we watched an episode of Bonanza and then ended the night with a game of Puerto Rico.

Hmmmm, the whole process was difficult and emotional. I know the lessons Daniel was supposed to learn, but I wonder a bit at what I should take away from it all. In no way am I implying that the discipline should be left entirely to the father. Tim and I are partners in this journey and we spend much time in discussion, prayer and Bible study as we parent the children. We balance each other in amazing ways. However, I wonder if sometimes my “mother hen”/emotional/protective side rises so strong that I actually prevent Tim from being the spiritual leader in the family.

tim and daniel

Tim and Daniel December 2004

Perhaps I need to be willing to step aside more often and trust Tim’s parenting, even if it seems overly stern or just plain different from mine. How many times do we Christian wives say we want our husbands to be the spiritual leaders of the home but don’t leave anything left for them to lead, we’ve already done it all? Lots of prayer and wisdom is really needed in this job as wife and mother.

Daniel and David had ANOTHER interaction this evening where David got hurt. Is it just rough play between boys? Is there a bullying pattern building in Daniel’s life? Is there some resentment of the younger brother spilling out in fighting?

brothers in red

David gets a bear hug from Daniel, December 2004.

It looks like I will have plenty of opportunity to support Tim in our pursuit of Daniel’s heart.

Kathy

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P365 – Day 111 Sleepovers, Park, Dolls & More

It was a busy day! After the play, Daniel brought home three friends for a sleepover. Tim took them out for McDonald’s sundaes on the way home. The boys wrestled and played and eventually fell asleep, around midnight. In the morning, Joshua fixed everyone Belgium waffles (his birthday specialty). He made a triple batch and still everything was completely devoured.

breakfast yum

The boys played computer games, ran around outside, raked the grass, wrestled some more, and on and on. Tim took David off to the park for an AWANA Sparks hike. They walked down to the water and spent most of the time throwing rocks in the lake. Tim reminded me, this evening, that one of David’s first phrases was “Throw rocks! Throw rocks!” Ah, doesn’t that sound like a boy.

david at the lake

Daniel opened presents after lunch. He has some very nice friends. They are fun and cheerful and seem to thoroughly enjoy him. It was a delight having them over.

daniel and adamdaniel and boys

Sarah spent a good portion of the day playing at the top of the stairs. She got all of Rachel’s doll clothes out and played dress up for a long time.

sarah and Niki

At some point one of the swings on the swing set broke. Daniel ran in to report the damage, got directions (and inspiration, no doubt) from Tim and then set off to repair it. He and Adam did a great job although who knows how secure the whole thing is.

adam and danielfixing a swing

I tried to motivate the family to clean the house today (instead of waiting until Sunday) since we have Bible study coming tomorrow evening. Most everyone pitched in and we actually got a good bit done. Hopefully tomorrow won’t feel frantic in the afternoon before people arrive. Well, I can hope, can’t I?

Kathy

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P365 – Day 105 (Daniel’s Birthday)

Sunday was Daniel’s birthday. He’s our April 15th/Tax Day baby. Of course, since we often receive a tax refund, this isn’t a terribly negative connection. :)

top speed

Gotta start the presents out with a new game!

Daniel is in the exact middle of our passel of kiddos – a brother and sister older than him and a brother and sister younger. I’ve written about Daniel’s birth order challenges before, so I won’t go there again. This year Daniel’s birthday fell on the weekend of the church’s women’s retreat. Since I am one of the coordinators for the retreat, I thought it might be nice if actually WENT.

daniel and david

David used his AWANA Bible Bucks $$ to buy Daniel a birthday present.

We talked about Daniel’s birthday party options. He wanted to have some friends from co-op and PE spend the night. I got permission for the boys to come on Sunday night (homeschooling is great – they could all stay over until Monday morning without school troubles). Joshua strongly recommended Daniel wait until the following weekend (“It’s always fun to stretch out your birthday and we need Mom here” he said). Daniel decided to take his big brother’s advice and move his party to the next weekend.

presents

Joshua looks on as Daniel selects a present.

Thankfully Joshua took on the birthday decorating job and, although it was Sunday (and by default a bit rushed) and I wasn’t here to help, the living room and hallway were covered in birthday streamers. Joshua picked a very festive red, white and blue theme. It looked very Fourth of Julyish and, since my birthday is in July, I heartily approved.

Tim bought the kids fried chicken after church and topped the meal off with some leftover birthday cake from G’ma’s party. Not a bad birthday lunch! I didn’t get home until late afternoon. Instead of relaxing and being celebrated, Daniel spent a good portion of his birthday cleaning the house (for his beloved mother) and making a welcome home sign (also for his beloved mother). What a sweet birthday boy!

welcome sign

I didn’t expect to be greeted home with such a beautiful sign!

I brought some birthday cake, from the retreat, home with me. We frosted Dan’s name on the cake, surrounded it with votive candles and called it a birthday cake. I would be embarrassed at how totally lame that sounds except the cake was delicious and everyone devoured it happily.

birthday cake

Thanks for sharing your cake, Emily! :)

We ended the afternoon with lots of presents. The children took good care of Daniel and bought him several gifts. Sarah had great delight in helping Tim wrap the items. The day was absolutely gorgeous so the kids played outside before bed. I was so thankful that Tim and the children blessed my return with a clean house.

daniel's present

sarah helps

Sarah makes sure Daniel opens the present and looks it over properly.

Happy Birthday, Daniel!!! You are now 10 years old, double digits. I can’t wait to see what this year brings for you. May you grow in grace and wisdom in the Lord, becoming more like Him with each passing day.

birthday boy and siblings

The Birthday Boy surrounded by his siblings.

Kathy

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